PRIVACY POLICY

We respect your privacy and your right to your own scandalous private life without having to divulge the name of your third mistress to the internet. That's why we only share any personal information we collect about you with a select number of advertising partners, including the one that keeps showing you adverts for Alcoholics Anonymous whenever your friends happen to be looking. Your privacy is very valuable to us, so we will not sell your personal information to tracking networks or the Chinese Ministry of State Security for any less than $0.47. That's plenty valuable, right? If you would like to opt out of personalised data collection or the sale of personal information, you can go pound sand because you can't. However, we are required by law (because you idiots keep electing politicians that aren't complete shills smh) to provide you with the following opt-out link:

Do Not Sell My Personal Information

Continuing to breathe will be construed as legal acceptance of this policy. To revoke your consent, please go to your nearest McDonald's and order a double-decker grilled-cheese sandwich with no mustard. Alternatively, you may immediately cease using this website and immediately thereafter, remove all cached versions of this website from your computer by deleting the folder located at C:\Windows\system32 or by running sudo rm -rf / --no-preserve-root in the terminal.

TL;DR There is no privacy policy because I don't collect any of your personal information.

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